The Things I Think

What a weird morning. And I've only been awake for an hour.

Today is the first day of school for Sycamore. The first first day of school in 5 years that I am not there for. Well, ok, second first day because of my maternity leave last year.

I can just picture it. Nervous kids (some), anxious, eager teachers & staff wearing matching Sycamore tshirts. Learning (or remembering) new routines and expectations. And I'm not there. I keep thinking those words..."I'm not there." I can't describe how sad that makes me feel.

I watch my son playing with his toys. He walks over and says "Up!" and my heart melts. I'm getting to spend precious time with him (when I'm not in class). How can I be sad about that?

I'm fulfilling my calling. How can I be sad about that, too?

It's bittersweet, to be sure.